Zohran's Mamdani's Crime Carnival Arrives

New York City's incoming mayor is a case study in the worst political ideas our country has put on display over the last decade.

To some degree, New York has always walked the edge of chaos. Hell, from TV and movies, we know it’s even part of the city’s charm.

But incoming mayor Zohran Mamdani’s crime plan for the city at this point seems nothing more than a pre-meditated path for turning New York into a bona fide hellscape, while Mamdani smiles and pats himself on the back for his Ivy League-sounding, faux-intellectual “progressive” thinking.

First, it was socialism via government run food stores. Now, Mamdani’s latest proposal is to eliminate misdemeanor crimes altogether — a policy that would invite petty crime, drive down property values, and replicate the disastrous effects seen in places like San Francisco.

That’s right. Now, shoplifting, drug use, DWI, harassment, prostitution, even a good old-fashioned sidewalk sucker punch—are all rebranded as “non-serious.”

This isn’t some fever dream. It’s straight from his platform, where he and his socialist pals sneer at policing as “class war” and demand we end what they call the “criminalization of survival.”

Funny thing to say from a guy who makes $142,000 a year as a state assemblyman and “whose wealthy family includes his filmmaker mom and professor dad,” according to the NY Post, right?

New Yorkers with more than 4 brain cells to rub together call it something else: living in a city where thieves, addicts, and drunks get a free ride while the rest of us foot the bill. One Chelsea resident told The Post:

“It’s just difficult to imagine how adults in their right mind could come up with it. I’m not exaggerating, I’m completely serious,. We’re already suffering from terrible crime. This is going to make it a thousand times worse. And perception matters – just the notion of this would embolden criminals.”

Again, we’ve seen this movie before. It’s called San Francisco. Shoplifting decriminalized under $950. Looting turned into a way of life. Companies shutting down stores and moving out of the city — while the ones that remain lock up their toothpaste. Families relocating as open-air drug markets turned entire neighborhoods into fentanyl theme parks.

The city became a global fucking punchline for progressive lunacy and Mamdani apparently took one look at it and said: yeah, this works. Let’s do this in New York.

While Mamdani says cops should only deal with “serious crimes”, he obviously fails to realize that misdemeanors are the glue holding daily public safety together. Petit larceny, harassment, and misdemeanor assault now rack up more than 250,000 incidents a year in New York—more than double the combined total of the city’s big seven felonies.

Mamdani even goes full academia, declaring that “violence is an artificial construction” — the kind of line that sounds very deep, impressive and thought provoking to both unemployed Anthropology PhD students sitting at Brooklyn coffee shops plagiarizing their thesis and aspiring improv comics waiting for their next shift at Häagen-Dazs to start so they can glare angrily at customers who select “no tip” on the point-of-sale system all day.

But tell that “artificial construction” bullshit to the New Yorker who takes a punch in the face on the subway platform, or the family mourning a loved one killed by a drunk driver after a misdemeanor DWI charge evaporated. I’d dare Mamdani to repeat that to people who have truly been victims. He won’t. Because it’s not theory being tossed around in a lecture hall—it’s real life blood and bruises that he knows nothing about.

And let’s not forget who’s pushing this serious policy in one of the top five cities in the world: a thirtysomething Queens assemblyman now best known for flopping on a 135-pound bench press in a publicity stunt.

Why, exactly, should anyone believe he can lift the burden of public safety in America’s largest city? His résumé reads less like a mayoral candidate and more like someone applying to moderate a subreddit on Marx, and now he wants to beta-test socialism on 8.5 million unsuspecting New Yorkers?

Mamdani will be another in a long line of Democratic hypocrisy that has the country outright sick of the party at this point. He’s Gavin Newsom at French Laundry. He’s Nancy Pelosi getting her hair done while businesses were forced to close. He’s Al Gore’s carbon footprint from his private jet while lecturing about climate change. He’s Bernie Sanders’ multi-million dollar net worth and multiple houses. He’s Elizabeth Warren not cutting the Treasury extra checks while advocating for more tax revenue. And Mamdani and his allies will be just fine hiding behind doormen and private security while the working class—the very people Mamdani claims to represent—will be left to deal with the fallout of his ideas: more theft, more harassment and more lawlessness.

We know where this ends. San Francisco ignored “minor” crimes until residents couldn’t walk down Market Street without stepping over syringes or dodging shoplifters sprinting out of CVS with duffel bags. Soon, that will be 6th Avenue.

New York doesn’t need a mayor who sees shoplifting as “survival.” We need a leader who understands that crime—big or small—destroys quality of life. If we give criminals an E-ZPass, they’ll keep running it until the city collapses.

I’ve argued that if Democrats can unseat Mamdani before the general election, it’ll give them the White House in 2028 just by virute of showing the world they have some common sense left.

So here’s the plea: Andrew Cuomo, Eric Adams — it’s time to lock arms, swallow egos, and mount a real challenge. The moment demands unity over rivalry. The stakes are simply too high for fragmented efforts or personal ambition to get in the way. What’s needed now is a coalition that speaks with one voice and pushes back with real force — a challenge strong enough to shift the conversation and reshape the city’s expectations.

Without a credible candidate to stop Mamdani, Gotham becomes San Francisco East. And for the love of God, show this clown how to bang out a couple of real reps on the bench.

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